Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Temper Temper

“You’re telling me that faith is all I need, but fear is all that I can find in me.” – Lindsay McCaul

One of the things I love about Spotify is being introduced to artists I would not have heard of otherwise. This is how I discovered the amazing words of Lindsay McCaul. So many of the words of her songs could have been taken right off the pages of my mind. When I read the line above, I realized something that I had not recognized before. Yes, I am fearful, but I am acting in faith at the same time. I am not all fear and no faith. Many of the things I am doing scare me, BUT I’m doing them!

It’s not easy to open up and let people see the unedited version of you, the one that isn’t airbrushed to perfection. I want to be real, even when that means looking ugly. And aren’t we all ugly at some point? I know I was yesterday. I lost my temper not just once, but twice. And I didn’t even feel the least bit better for the least little bit of time. There was no release or relief in it. Instead I felt worse than I did before exploding. Turns out in addition to fearful, I’m angry. I want to backspace and take that out, but it is true and it is real. I have such a need to control my circumstances and letting God take charge has left me scared and easily angered.

So – what do you do in a case like that? The same thing you do when you encounter any other problem. You look to God and see what He has to say. I looked up several verses on anger, and when I got to this one, I knew it was THE one God wanted me to see. Proverbs 19:11 says “A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense.” I was immediately convicted upon reading this because in the particular situation I am in, I know what thoughts and feelings are going through this person’s mind. I have been in their shoes, and felt their turmoil myself. I remember those days so clearly…except when it comes to this person offending me in the midst of their turmoil. Lord, help me to remember the pain they are in. Help me to be patient with them and to forgive quickly and completely. Help me not strike back, but rather “overlook an offense”. Let your love shine through me, drawing them to you. Help me to love them as you do.

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