I look at the amazing masterpiece that you have created and marvel at how you brought so much beauty out of the wreckage of my life. There were times I absolutely could not see your hand in my life no matter how hard I looked. I felt abandoned, rejected, alone... But I never was. You were at work behind the scenes the whole time. Through the hard times, you carried me. Even though I couldn't feel you, you were there every single moment.
Looking back now I can see you so clearly. The simple words from caring family and friends. The hugs from people at church. The time off work when I desperately needed it. The connections made with strangers going through the same things I was going through. You orchestrated it all. You promised you would never leave or forsake me. How ashamed I am that I ever questioned your presence, yet I know you understand intimately. You are a man acquainted with sorrow, and it's in the most sorrowful moments of our life that we can experience the amazing comfort only you can provide.
I was recently challenged to think about what my dreams are for myself. I want to be a source of your comfort for others. I want to help people who feel like they have no where to turn. I want them to experience the hope that comes from knowing you care. I want them to see that people have survived the very things that they think they can't possibly survive. I want to show them that they can thrive, not just survive. I want to point them to you, Father.
Maybe it's through a Facebook message, or this blog, or even writing a book. Maybe one day it's speaking to thousands of women on stage. However big or small, I want to honor you and share you with the suffering women that you bring my way. Dream for me, Father, because I dream too small. Help me see every opportunity that you send my way. Help me not to overlook the small things or fear the big things. After all, you are with me, and will equip me to do what you've called me to do. <3